Dog Racing: Improved

From a 1933 patent application by Rennie Renfro:

In the sport of greyhound racing, that is enjoyed by dog fanciers and racing enthusiasts, there has been recently introduced, the use of monkey riders, who serve in the capacity of jockeys. Because of the aptitude and imitative tendencies of simians, when they are positioned on the backs of their fleet charges, they imitate the actions of regular jockeys. The employment of the monkey jockey adds considerable zest and enjoyment to the sport. However, as in horse racing, there is always present the danger of the rider being accidentally thrown, and unless some means is provided for safely securing the riders, there is ever present the hazard of the rider being dislodged, with consequent injury.

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Phil Davison

This is Phil Davison running for the GOP treasurer in Stark County, Ohio and making the most ridiculous stump speech I’ve ever seen. He reminds me of Chris Farley’s Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker character (the one who lives in a van! down by the river!)

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Full Bottle Wine Glass

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Dressed as a Gorilla

I don’t even want to know.

[via b3ta]

Heil Honey, I’m Home!

Heil Honey, I’m Home was a short-lived British sitcom which aired for only one episode on Galaxy. It covers the fictional home life of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun in the style of 50s sitcoms (vacuous dialogue, canned laughter, etc.) The program provoked some controversy when it first aired, and is still the only British television program to be cancelled after only one episode. After watching the first episode, I can see a lot of reasons why it was cancelled, but not a single reason why anybody thought it was a good idea to make the show in the first place.

Part 2 is here.

mental_floss has a list of a few more TV shows cancelled after only one episode.

Angry Norwegians in Scuba Gear Chase Google Street View Van

Every now and then the Google Street View van picks up something weird. And apparently in the UK they’ve started throwing rocks and rotten vegetables at it, not wanting to have their homes photographed. In the Norwegian coastal city of Bergen, however, they picked up this: two angry grown men in scuba suits chasing the van with giant forks. I used to live in Norway with my girlfriend (who is thankfully not Norwegian and has never chased me with a giant fork in scuba gear) and that is the most Norwegian thing I have ever seen. Apparently, they had been waiting there a while for the van, taking advantage of Norways rather lax working hours. You can get the full story, autotranslated from Norway’s Aftenposten newspaper here.

[via BoingBoing]

5 Certifiably Insane Cold War Projects

Cracked has a fantastically interesting list up of 5 Cold War projects that are, well, certifiably insane. Like lauching nuclear missiles at the moon in a show of force. It’s really worth reading but, as usual with Cracked, comes with a language warning.

Nuke The Moon: 5 Certifiably Insane Cold War Projects [Cracked]

Animals With Lightsabers

Animals With Lightsabers is a website with a collection of pictures of animals wielding lightsabers. I already know cats would gleefully torment their kin with a laser-based weapon, but squirrels? Really? Hit the jump for some more and a link to the site.

USS Dog

Your guess is as good as mine.

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The Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock

The Sonic Bomb alarm clock is guaranteed to get you out of bed. It boasts a 113 dB sonic alarm, which is louder than a jackhammer, as well as the ability to flash a bedside lamp on and off. Oh, it shakes the bed as well. You’ll never want to sleep again!

[Product Site]